i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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