Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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