Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
