After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Found the puke drawer
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
