It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
