I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
