A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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