I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
