you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
