she was so not down for the gang bang
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
