Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize
