oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
