I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
