im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
dude. I can hear the air.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
