I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
True strength comes from lack of pants
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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