i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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