Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
