why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
