New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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