My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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