Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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