As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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