Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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