Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
