Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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