He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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