I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
