I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
