if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
