Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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