is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
