look no pants
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
