At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
