maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
