1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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