Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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