Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
