I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
