so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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