Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
