What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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