You're my little dorito
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
