mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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