I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
