i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
