Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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