No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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