Kiss
Puke
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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