I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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