I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
