This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
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