im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
A bitchslap is in order.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
