Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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