i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
