so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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