some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
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