She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
