I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
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