it's great music for shaving your balls
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
