Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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