Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Someone came in the potted fern
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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