Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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